Author bashing
by The Soapy Kid
Summary: PG just in case. X-men complain about Individual Fan-fic authors, not the way they write stories, just how weird they are.


Disclaimer: I don't own X-men Evolution

AN: NO GETTING MAD! IF I Tease you/ mention you here it's because you're a fanatic and a good author. If I don't mention you, don't get mad.

The entire population of the institute plus Jubilee, Evan, Rahne and the BOM stood in the computer lab reading fan-fiction. It was a rainy day and they had nothing better to do than read stories written by armature writers.

"You know," Bobby said suddenly out loud. "The only people harder to figure out than normal girls are fan-fiction authors."

"And when they're both…….." Ray added.

"Heaven help us." Scott finished.

"But girls try to be hard to figure out. Fan-Fic writers are just weird." Amara added.

"I know. They even **write** about being weird. It's like they're proud of it." (AN: That's this story.)

"Some of them write good stories though." Amara put in.

"Like Post or Neva or………. there are lots who do." Jean jumped in to the conversation.

"Have you seen that new author, Airpirate 96?" Amara asked.

"What kind of name is **that**." Scott asked?

"I know really. And he writes like Dick and Jane. You know, like Jane see spot run." Kitty complained.

"Except it's more like **Jubilee** see spot run." Rahne laughed.

"I know. He says it's because they didn't give her a good part in the show. Pulleeeez." Amara shook her head.

"He has it out for you, Jubilee, no two ways about it." (AN: Crap, busted.)

"It's the raincoat. Guys cant resist a girl in a raincoat." Jubilee smiled.

"Oh, whatever." Kitty laughed.

"What I can't understand," Boom Boom began. "Is why he doesn't like me. How can anyone not?"

"I Think is was the dress you wore to the dance. You know, the frilly one. That was enough to turn any guy off."

"What's wrong with the frilly dress?"

"Oh yeah. There's also the fact that you got Kurt in trouble. Mess with Kurt, all his fans (basically everybody) hate you. Airpirate is a Kurt fan."

"Have you seen his bio? It's just a lame joke! It tells us nothing about him! Okay except he has a bad sense of humor." Amara made a face.

"And another thing about Airpirate," Scott stiffed. (I don't know what I mean when I say Scott stiffed. Take it how you want.) "He doesn't support Scott/Jean."

There was a long silence and every one turned to look at Scott……………………………….........................

"Scott…………. Nobody supports Scott/Jean…………." Bobby explained carefully.

"I Know! I don't get that!"

"Scott…….. Shut up." Bobby said calmly.

"………………………." Scott, um, said? Didn't say? I don't know.

"Yeah, and Airpirate also wrote a story about me. You know the Red?" Kurt put in.

"Wasn't that, like on his brothers account. He was like to lazy to get one himself?" Kitty asked.

"Yeah, StupidX is his brothers name. So anyway. He completely trashes my life, and then makes me betray two new members of our team just to save Amanda."

"Would you?"

"Uh, depends on how new they are. But that's not the point. What's more, he also called me a fuzzy clam! What the hell is that! And he doesn't even write in my accent!"

"At least people write about you. I think the **only** story where I played a major roll was in Between the Walls by Post. He made me the bad guy! I mean seriously! And the worst thing about it all is I **still** liked the story!" Ray griped.

"What I don't get is why Lance gets Kitty, who he tried to kill once!" Scott complained.

"I know! I hate Lance!" Kitty yelled in denial.

"Whatever. You like him." Rogue smirked.

"Uh! I do not."

"Yeah, right."

"I'm serious. **I don't like him!**"

Rogue raised her eyebrow.

"……. Okay. Maybe just a little."

"Why doesn't anyone write about me?" Scott asked.

"They do. Why I just read one the other day. It was called Scott dies. The whole point of the story was to kill you again and again. Many times, your death involved spoons." Ray grinned.

"……….Spoons?"

"Yep. Spoons."

"…………………………." Scott didn't say.

"I know."

"That does it. I have to know. Why does everybody hate me! What do I actually do wrong? Sure I'm a little stiff but what's wrong with that. Rogue's a jerk sometimes and nobody hassles her about that. Why should they. She's had a hard life and has a right to be a jerk. Cant I have a right to be stiff. My parents were killed when I was young, I lived blind on the street for a while so I didn't blow things up. I lived with cruel foster parents. It's not like I'm perfect like Jean. I have arguments with the professor. Heck, more than Kurt does. And yet everybody views me as his pet! I rarely whine. Excuse me this one time if I do. Sure I have a small problem with Lance, but I'm not perfect! And yet **nobody** respects me!"

"Scott………. Shut up."

"See! That's Exactly what I'm talking about! No respect!"

The professor entered the room. "Scott, I'm am trying to meditate, so will you please shut up."

The professor left the room as everybody was left in shock and Scott broke down and started crying.

"Why me. Why me."

"So anyway. What I don't get is why everybody thinks Toad is cute. He stinks!" Amara exclaimed.

"I know what it is." Lance frowned. "**They** cant smell him. They never have to. They just hear about how bad he smells. If they had to live with him…….. I'm serious, none of them would like him"

"I dunno. Todd fan might be crazy enough to do it. Some thing is seriously **wrong** with that girl!" (AN: And proud of it eh Todd fan? There's something wrong with all of us.)

"Yo man, it's the tongue. It's gotta be the tongue." Todd flipped his tongue in Kitty's face earning a scream of disgust.

"See what I mean. Oh yeah. I also have that cool theme music."

"Theme music?" Ray asked.

"Yeah, you know. It has that catchy beat and then it goes AAAAWEEEEEEEEEYOOOOOOO.

"Oh that."

"Yeah he's lucky." Lance complained. "They just screech on a guitar when I do my earthquakes. You know what author I hate? Internutter. She is **so** mean to me. I mean **really**. I'm not that bad am I?"

"I think she's pretty good actually" Kurt grinned.

"Just because she portrays you as an angel………….."

"I also like Kalaki. She's good to."

"She's mean to me too!"

"I like pretty much any author."

"That's because they pretty much all like you."

"Some times too much come to think of it. It gets down right scary sometimes. I mean when they talk about hugging and squeezing and calling me George."

"I don't get why everybody hates me. I'm a good person." Jean complained.

Everybody looked at her. "Yeeeeeeeeeah………." they all chorused at once.

Jean stood there for a second and then said, "Oh. I see." Then, " I stand for everything they're not. They love Lance cause he's a jerk and hate me for being good. That's retarded."

"Nope, that's Fan-fiction." Kurt said.

"How bout if I just yell at someone. Will that make them like me more?"

"I guess……." Kurt said unsure.

Jean turned to Scott. "Your shades are dorky!"

"………………………………..............................................................................................." everybody didn't say.

"What. Was. That." Ray finally found his speech.

"It seemed like a pretty mean thing to say."

Everybody groaned.

"You know what. How bout you just shut up. That'll make them like you more." Ray smirked.

Jean huffed out of the room.

"You know what I really cant stand? When an author cuts off in the middle of a story." Bobby complained. "You know, just never updates. Cuts off right in the middle and-"

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AN: did you like? R&R!


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